Bench of awareness
by Sawah-lm
Summary: What if a bench could help a family destroyed by successive heart breaking events reunite ? Bench scene as imagined before watching the episode 2x19 and what it could lead to in a SwanQueen parallel world. (Rated T for now, might become M depending on... well... If I dare to write smut or not. And I really don't know which genres I should select...)
1. Chapter 1 : Let's bench it out

**Hello SwanQueen readers ! (you're not SwanQueen ? What are you even doing here ?So that we're clear, I'm not asking you to run away no, but don't say I didn't warn you...).**

**This is my first attempt at writing a OUAT story, a SwanQueen story, I started it a few weeks ago when I read about that bench scene we're gonna have tonight. I really wanted to post this first chapter before the episode... CLOSE ENOUGH ! **

**This is also the first time I post a story in English. I wanted to ask a beta-reader for help but as the episode is on tonight... Well, I simply couldn't wait to post the story. I'll probably get in touch with a Beta-reader before posting the second chapter (if you want a second one...). So, I hope I didn't leave any super big mistake, if I did I'm very sorry and I would love forever if you just let me know ;)**

**As I said, this story begins with the bench scene that you've all been looking forward to for very long weeks and that some of you have already seen in a Sneak Peek which I haven't watched because they are bad and dangerous.**

**Summary : **What if a bench could help a family destroyed by successive heart breaking events reunite ? Bench scene as seen before watching the episode 2x19 and what it could lead to in a SwanQueen parallel world.

**Rating :** T for now.

**Disclaimer : **I don't own Once upon a time or any character of the show - otherwise, the SwanQueen shippers would praise me because their ship would be CANON !

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**Chapter 1 : Let's bench it out **

"I believe you wanted to see me Ms Swan."

Regina's voice made Emma jump. She had been sitting on a bench gazing straight ahead and had gotten lost in her thoughts summing up everything that had happened in Storybrooke lately. It seemed all blur, confusing, dismentled like a puzzle and she needed a little bit of light to put the pieces together. That's why she had asked Regina to come join her, in a neutral place, just the two of them, to talk, figure things out - and maybe, finally, put an end to the constant fight - hoping she'd help lighting all that up.

"Regina ! I... uh... I'm glad you came. Please, sit." She said nodding to the empty part of the bench.

"Frist of all, I'm not sure I'm confortable being on a first name basis with you, second of all I'm the kind of woman who likes giving orders, not getting them. But you already know that, don't you ?"

"Indeed I do that's why I said please, _Madame ex-Mayor_."

Regina just ignored the last words and sat on another bench right by Emma's, making sure there were a safe distance between the other woman and her. None of the two spoke for a little while, letting both women analyse the situation and think it through. Eventually Regina turned to face the blonde and broke the pregnant silence that had settled and which was starting to torture their brains instead of easing them.

"So, now that I'm here, what is it you wanted to talk about ?"

"Everything."

"You'll need to be more precise because it already sounds like a waste of my time."

"Storybrooke, all the shit that's happened here... your mother..."

"Don't even go there." Her tone was threatening but Emma just ignored it and carried on, a hint of hesitation in her voice "Henry... _you_."

Regina started laughing at the emphasis on the "you", as if she were the center of all this, as if she had the answer to everything. Indeed as the Evil Queen, she was partly responsible for the mess in Storybrooke but as a matter of fact, she had lost control on the town and had had no control over everything that had happened there since the curse was broken.

"How – dare – you ?" Her voice had shifted from a rather high-pitched sarcastic laugh to a low pitched threat.

Emma flinched slightly, she certainly wasn't expecting that kind of reaction. "Excuse me ?" She articulated, now looking at Regina straight in the eyes, which seemed like they could set her in fire. Angst started groing in her stomach for she knew the brunette was unpredictable.

"Pretending to be concerned when you accused me of a murder I didn't commit because of a stupid dog and a bit of magic, not even taking into consideration that I really was trying hard to be better for Henry."

_God I gotta ease the situation before this blows out of proportion._ "About that, Regina I..."

"I am not finished !" She spoke dryly. Her voice sounded strong and low pitched, it wouldn't crack.

She didn't want apologies right now, she just wanted to scream, let it all out, everything she had kept for herself until now.

"You destroyed every steps I'd made towards him ! But you still dare showing concern now that you stand by your daddy and mommy who tricked me into killing my mother. You called me evil in front of Henry, I destroyed the Curse of the empty hearted and what did I get ? You getting him back _again_. Should I go on ? Because I have plenty of those facts about how the Charmings - with now the help of their little girl, whom I thought clever - keep on destroying _everything_ I have."

Silence fell, sharp as a butcher knife, heavy as the feeling of guilt that was crushing Emma's chest. Eyes wide open and jaw clenched, she was unable to speak, her body had frozen. Regina couldn't tell wether the blonde was staring at her or at a random point in the air. She looked away from the blonde's stare, almost fleeing it. Because of awkwardness, maybe... Or was it because she couldn't tell or refused to see what the big green eyes were filled with ? She leaned back on the bench, she let a heavy sigh out, looking straight ahead as far as the horizon allowed her to. Yet, she was able to see that pale skinned hand, leaving the opposite same one resting on Emma's thigh to hover hesitantly approach her own arm, going slightly back and forth to eventually surrender. The blonde woman wanted to say something but had trouble finding the right words. She could tell by the way she held her breath now and then to let it out in a sigh at last. It was somehow frustrating, but she wouldn't say a thing, it was only uncomfortable for Emma anyway.

"Saying that I'm sorry won't ever be enough for..." She tried to name it but realized that she would need more than a few words to do so. She took a deep breath at the thought of everything Regina had been through alone. "Everything you've just summed up."

"Glad you got that right."

"But I can try anyway."

"Feel free to waste your time."

"But you probably won't trust me ever again."

"If I ever did."

Yes she had. They both knew it but the brunette felt stupid about it. It had been her weakness. Trusting people only made everything worse. She had started trusting Emma after the curse broke when she protected her from the habitants of Storybrooke and it only grew bigger when she saved her from the wraith and bigger when she stood by her while her parents accused the former Evil Queen of murder... But it hadn't lasted long. She would not admit to the fact that she had trusted Emma Swan because she didn't want to rub it in and think about having lost that trust which had felt so good.

"You may not like it but you did once, and that's why you're so mad at me now."

"You think you're clever, don't you ? But you're no more of a shrink than the cricket !"

She had intended to stay calm, but as much as she had wanted to have a civilized conversion with Emma she just couldn't let her think she knew what she felt like. She couldn't let her win. Because it was all about winning, wasn't it ?

"You think I'm mad because you ended up being just like your parents ? Let me refresh your memory :You stole _my son_, took him away from me ! How the hell do you think that makes me feel ?"

There, her voice had cracked, finally. Emotion had taken over and she didn't even try to hide it.

"Can I _please_ say something without you yelling right after ?"

"No, no ! You don't get to say _anything _to me. I don't want to hear any more of your bullshit" She answered, suddenly standing up and making Emma start slightly.

Shit. The woman was really mad. She shouldn't have pushed ; It was Regina in front of her, the freaking ex-Evil Queen, a control freak ! But she couldn't stop herself from pushing her buttons, she needed it. As crazy as it might sound and as tiring as it was, she needed that kind of relationship with her. She couldn't help. It drove her insane but it felt unhealthily good. Once again, however, they had failed in trying to communicate with each other.

"Okay Regina I'm sorry, I really am !" She answered in a hurry not bothering taking a breath before reaching to Regina's sleeve in order to prevent her from leaving "Stay, please." She was pleading now.

"Take. Your hand. Off. My coat !" She threatened yanking her arm off Emma's grasp.

"Look, you might want to avoid this conversation and I'll let you but we're not done here, _Regina_."

"Oh yes, we are _dear_ !"

The brunette furiously left the place, her heels hitting the ground hard. She was mad for sure but Emma was stubborn and she didn't intend in giving up, not now that she - partly - understood Regina. So many questions were racing in her head. What if Cora hadn't showed up ? What if nothing had gone wrong ? What was it going to be like now ? How did she feel ? She could've facepalmed herself for that last question that had crossed her mind... What kind of question was that ? She was obviously not okay and Emma could only understand. Why hadn't she believed her ? Was that in any way how she thanked somebody who had saved her ? Yes... She had saved both her and Snow when they returned from the Enchanted Forest, when she could've let them die. How the hell hadn't she seen the whole Cora thingy coming ? So many questions that needed lighting. She was so not finished with this.

"Damn woman !" she mumbled to herself, frustrated with the infertile conversation that had completely got out of her control.

She didn't know why she did all that, what drove her - it was just Regina after all, she could just let her deal with her problems and live her own life - it was not pity for sure because it was not a feeling she was used to feel as a bounty hunter. She only knew one thing : she wouldn't let go.

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**Thoughts ? Really need them to know if I can carry on writing and posting or not ;) **

**Hope you liked it. =)**


	2. Chapter 2 : Simple Happiness

**A/N : **Hey guys I'm back ! Those who reviewed the previous chapter, thank you, those who took the time to read thank you too. time for chapter 2 now. I'm quite satisfied with this one really... And to the Evil Regals : Special sexy Regina time (if you picture it right =P).

Also, sorry for taking so long to update, I was just a bit busy those days but I should be more available in June and I feel very motivated to work on my two new babies (for those who haven't seen : I posted another SwanQueen fanfiction called "Unpredictable Magic of the Forbidden Fruit" like 2 days ago or something...)

Whatever... Enjoy this new chapter ! (As always if I made mistakes - sorry if I did but I'm not completely bilingual - I'd be forever thankful if you'd tell me about them =) )

**Rating : **Still T

**Disclaimer : **I don't own Once upon a time or any character of the show - otherwise, the SwanQueen shippers would praise me because their ship would be CANON !

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**Chapter 2 : Simple Happiness**

What an idiot ! Did she really think it would be that easy ? Just making her sit on a bench and getting all attentive wouldn't make the firmly grounded and intricate feelings disappear. What was this damn Savior expecting anyway ? For her to forget everything, move on and get all friendly ? Hell no ! You can't fool Regina.

The brunette was on her way back home, perched on her high heels, walking fast, vigorously hitting the ground, getting angrier with each step she took. Her feet hurt like hell, and as anger had the effect of masking physical pain, she would feel it only later, after she reached home and kicked off her pumps. Her mind was such a mess after her conversation with her son's birthmother that she got distracted her from her track, she almost walked past her own home just like a robot in automatic mode.

She winced when her feet made contact with the cold floor of her house. It felt like blood pulsing hard against her skin, filling her sore flesh. She moaned as the coldness of the marble floor started soothing slowly the pain her anger had earlier covered.

She went to her study and sat behind her desk but found nothing to do. She was not the mayor anymore - well technically there had been no Mayorial election but she had no influence nor power over the town anymore, the Charmings kind of ruled – or actually tried to rule - everything now because well, people didn't oppose them - she didn't have anything to run or work on. She didn't feel like a mother either as she had no homework to check nor her son's life to manage anymore.

Sitting upright on her chair, both hands on the edge of her desk, she sighed heavily. Boredom had never felt so terrible, she couldn't help losing herself deep in thoughts which were, most of the time, made of regrets, sad memories and present facts - in no way better than the two first. The only thing she could cling to was the hopeful idea of bringing Henry back home by being _good_... That word really sounded stupid, she thought.

What did it mean for her anyway ?

Disappearing, retreating to her lonesome big house, reading borrowed books from the library all day long. She didn't even cook anymore. Cooking for herself was too depressing so she would eat simple meals alone on the couch with the TV on because she couldn't bare eating alone at her big and empty table only surrounded by silence. She sighed again. She needed to find something other than her apple tree to take care of before she goes nuts.

And this silence. This silence was killing her. Her nerves were agitated, threatening to explode anytime. She needed to release this tension that made her heart heavy as stone and her body feel like it were squeezed by some invisible force which wouldn't let go. What could make all that disappear better than a sweet mango fragrance emanating from a hot bath with some jazz music on (Glass of apple cider implied) ?

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It was almost 6:30pm when Emma sat in the driver's seat and buckled up next to a slightly upset Henry who tried to find space between his feet for his very full backpack.

"Why can't I just visit and spend time with her tomorrow ?"

The boy's birthmother sighed heavily, she knew he would not be okay with this.

"Look kid. I know your mom is not the easiest person to live with but she's still your mom." she paused to start the car. "And like it or not, she _needs_ you." she added insistantly.

"I know that. I kind of miss her but I'm not sure I can trust her." he answered softly, pouting, a little embarrassed with the confession he had just made.

She couldn't say she trusted her either but there's one thing she trusted : Regina's will to change, to be better.

"Me neither."

"So why do you want me to go back with her ?"

Because she had the feeling that giving Henry back, letting her feel like a mom again would help her. Because she thought it could stop this endless war between her parents and the former Evil Queen. She hoped sobecause she really wanted to sort out this mess which drove everyone insane.

"Look, kid, there's a lot to say on that matter... But it's getting late and I'm not sure your control-freak - but _loving_ - mother would appreciate it if we arrived after dinner."

"But..."

"No arguing, you do what I tell you, that's it, I'm your mom, you obey."

The short drive was filled with silence shaken now and then by Henry's heavy sighs as he had decided to show his discontent all the way to Regina's house. Emma parked her old yellow car in front of the mansion and switched off the engine before speaking again.

"Henry, I'd like to ask you a favor..." She turned to him with a serious look on her face. "I want you to be nice tonight. And no pouting. Make your mom happy 'kay ?" Henry seemed to be lost in his thoughts so she added "And if you don't want to do it for her then, do it for me."

"Why would you want that ?" He suddenly let out, finally coming back from his deep thoughts.

"Because..." Hell... She didn't know but answered spontaneously anyway. "Well, I need her to feel better."

"Need ?" He repeated surprised by the choice of word.

"Yes, _need_. No more questions now. Let's go."

They both got out of the car and walked up the alley to the door on which the number "108" was nailed. Henry came closer to his birthmother and took her hand as to make her understand she could count on him.

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Water had already started cooling down a bit but Regina had no intention of leaving her – not so hot anymore – bath, she was way too relaxed and comfortable just lying in the bathtub listening to jazz music (which she found perfect to chill). She collected all the courage she had left to move and turn on the hot water because well... She REALLY didn't want to be forced to got out of the bathtub any time soon.

As hot water was running and warming up her body, she poured some more cider into her drink and took a very soothing sip before turning the water off and lying back down. She closed her eyes took a deep breath and let it all out with a moan. A tiny smile grew on her lips. Nothing could measure up to this exquisit feeling of floating, of letting go, which she rarely let herself feel. But unfortunately a loud irratating ringtone disturbed her moment, her eyes snapped open. She suddenly wanted to make the item explode. She could have and it even crossed her mind but instead she made a note to herself to NEVER take her cellphone to the bathroom with her when she wanted to relax. Of course, the phone wouldn't stop ringing. She reluctantly left the comfort of the bath, put on a robe, saw the name she wanted the least to appear on the screen and answered.

"Miss Swan, I hope you have a good reason to call which I highly doubt..." She snapped annoyed.

"Are you home ?" Emma asked ignoring the brunette's tone.

"Are you checking my whereabouts because someone died again, Sheriff ?"

"Very funny Regina, thanks for rubbing it in." she answered, jaded. This woman really was a piece of work.

"Feel free to call me whenever you need a reminder, dear."

"I will. Now stop being sassy and open your door."

"I'm sure whatever you want can wait until tomorrow, I'm not presentable right now."

"We don't care."

"We ?"

"Yup."

The brunette ran to the closest window which gave partial view on the porch. Even though she couldn't see much she spotted a familiar backpack which made her pause. She couldn't believe her eyes. There was no doubt, her son was standing on the porch.

"Henry ?" she mumbled.

She immediately hung up to rush down the stairs not worrying anymore about only wearing a bathrobe and in less than no time she was downstairs, unlocking the door to let her son and his birthmother in.

"I'm so happy to see you !" She said pulling him into a tight loving hug. "I've missed you so much !" She drew back and cupped his cheeks as if to make sure she was not dreaming. He really was back. A smile had invaded her lips without her being aware.

"Hi mom." He said gently, with a shy smile.

The scene unfolding before her eyes made Emma smile, she should've done that long before. Seeing a smile on the brunette's face was absolutely enchanting but, unfortunately, too rare. Thinking that s_he_ made her happy somehow warmed her heart. Simple happiness was not that hard to reach after all... Slowly coming back to reality she cleared her throat to catch the older woman's attention.

"I... I should go." she said a bit uneasy. But before she could make her move to the door Henry grabbed her sleeve.

"Wait !" he turn to Regina and added "Can Emma stay for dinner ?"

"Henry..." Emma sighed slightly embarrassed. She didn't want to push considering the conversation they had on the bench earlier on.

The two women stared at each other, exchanging a silent conversation which was then interrupted by a cute "Pleaaaaaaase ?" They both smiled at their son who really knew how to get what he wanted.

"Well... I guess it's the least I can do..."

"But if it bothers you I..."

"If it did, I would have said no right away Miss Swan." she answered indifferently.

"Yeah... Right... Of course."

"And I still haven't made dinner anyway."

"I can help..." Emma suggested right away.

"No offense but I'd rather not burn down the kitchen." She answered playfully, cocking her brow while Henry chuckled.

"_That_ is hurtful. But fine, I'll just watch and learn then."

"You can take your backpack up to your room sweetheart... You're staying, right ?" she had this sparkle of hope in her look that completely broke Emma's heart.

"That's what the backpack is for, mom."

And just like that he disappeared upstairs. Emma suddenly realized that the brunette was still half wet with her bathrobe on butseemed to have forgotten that detail.

"You know we could have waited for you to put something on..."

"What ?" Oh shit... The bathrobe... She wasn't able to contain the blush which was suddenly spreading on her cheeks. "I... Hum... Let me put something more appropriate on, I'll be right back. Just..."

"Make myself at home. Got it."

Regina simply nodded and turned to the stairs hiding the small smile she felt bit by bit growing on her lips.

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**A/N :** Hope you liked it and are impatient to read the next one. Thoughts ? Pleaaaaaaaaaaaase ? *puppy dog eyes*


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